When they rang me, I was pool side. "It's Sssspecial!" I said in my customary cool timbre. It's how I always answer the phone.
"We know you are" said a voice I didn't recognise. "Does the word 'GULFSTREAM' mean anything to you?" said the voice , almost sarcastically....
"Only that it's my international passport to journalistic pleasure..." I hadn't been in the back of a GULFSTREAM since the Athens Olympics, the scent of Connolly Leather and Belvedere Martini's had my nostrils tingling in a nascent memory of a finer time.
"Yeah well you always was good with the words, freakin' digital is killing the Networks! We gotta do somethin' or we are dead in the water! We need something, Special!" Shouted the voice, he sounded like he meant business....
"I would've thought that was a lay down mazaire, Chum" I quipped disinterestedly as Tin Tin came out of the pool glistening like well oiled super model, because she was.....
"Yeah well, we wanna offer you a package. Your Show, Your Way, five days a week from anywhere in the world that the shit is hitting the fan, and you got the GULFSTREAM on call 247"
"Keep talking Sunshine, I like the cut of your jib...."
Then there was the package. Lucky I can still drive a forklift.
You see it's not about the pots of money or the fame or the glamourous lifestyle that has the old crowd tartan with envy, No! To say 'it's more than a job to me', is a tawdry understatement that belittles the magnitude of the truth, it's more of a calling really, a duty, if you will, to serve YOU, the guy in the office who wants the real deal, the Gen Y hipsters whose bullshit detectors are set to stun, the Moms and Dads at home with a swarm of kids who's only desire from the News is a small scoop of the truth, delivered magniloquently and beautifully anunciated, from a very good looking man, the most up to date, hard hitting, unvarnished news service on the Planet! I tell YOU! I tell IT, like it IS...
So tune in and bone up on the latest unbelievable breaking news from around the globe, after all it's better than regular news, it's Special News! It's Shane Special Live!
I'm Shane Special.
