I know many of you have been wondering just where I have been for the past couple of months and the fact is I just needed a little "Shane Time" away from the bright lights and the hype. Thank you so much to all my loyal and adoring fans and friends who sent me so many wonderful letters of praise and adoration. You know the feeling is mutual, without you I am nothing, for I am but a humble vehicle of service, dedicted only to bringing you the most unbelievable news stories on the planet, when they happen, 247.
To say I have a renewed clarity and sense of purpose is an understatement. My mind feels like a laser beam and I have never been in as good a physical shape as I am right now, and that's saying something. Many a man dreams of climbing his own personal Everest and I have just climbed mine. For some it is a metaphor for the achievement of something thought to be insurmountable, or unattainable. For me it is far more literal and physical. I just climbed Mount Everest. I went the long way too, walking from Mongolia alone, with only my thoughts, my incredible physical stamina and my support crew for company.
You see, I needed a new direction, something fresh. I was sick of the whole Mickey Mouse rhetoric of the big networks and I wanted something to really sink my teeth into. I wanted to walk on up to the big end of town and order a Dirty Belvedere Martini without fear or judgement, or malice or forethought. I knew it was time to stop playing small, to stop sweating the small stuff and to stop trotting out trendy random cliches. Suddenly the phone rang, my right hand manservant, Graham, answered the call. I'll never forget the look on his face when he repeated that number. A number so large, it would definitely seal the deal.
Since signing with the guys at RMK in Sydney there has been a deluge of inquiry for my unique style, my highly animated personality and my sheer physical presence. It's flattering, if I hadn't done that thing Brad Pitt did in that cave half way up Mount Everest I don't think I could have made it. Thanks Brad, you're a pal and a constant inspiration. It's funny you know, last night Mick Jagger told me I really need to stop dropping names and I said "Mick, I ain't droppin' em, I'm just catchin' em before they fall" Marshall Mathers laughed his ass off at that one. He's a good kid, smart too. Likes my beat boxing. I'm just sitting backstage at Lady Gaga in Sydney, she's a genius you know, the real deal. I'm just hanging around for the jam later on, I'm too close to the show now to suspend my disbelief; or yours for that matter.
So I am back folks, I will be covering all the LIVE action as we run up to 21st of December 2012. Is it the End? Or Just the end of the beginning? Only TIME will tell. I'm Shane Special.
